9.21 & 9.22 – “King of the Stairway to Heaven” remix

As always thank you to http://homeofthenutty.com/ for the screencaps and a thanks to http://gifaday.blogspot.com/ for the gif.

	Now little boy, I want you to scream real loud so daddy can hear.
	I may be Metatron’s main boy but he’s not really my father.
	Met-? No, I mean Crowley!
	Who?
	You know. The king of Hell!
	But I’m an angel.
	… Let me make a call.
	–MEANWHILE–
	TELL US WHERE METATRON IS!
	Who?
	Where is the doorway?
	Uh… Behind you?
	HOW DO WE GET TO HEAVEN?
	Go to church?
	Dean… I think he’s…
	No! Don’t say it.
	…telling the truth!
	Well this is new for us, now what do we do?
	*phone rings*
	Hello?
	Hello, Winchesters. Are you looking for an angel?
	No thanks. We’ve got plenty.
	N – Look you idiots, I think we got our kidnappings mixed up.
	You kidnapped an overly devoted Renaissance fair attendee?
	No, I was trying to kidnap Crowley’s son.
	How did you do that?
	Uh… the time travel spell that brought me here in the first place? Duh.
	But our granddad had to use the power of his soul and travel “blood to blood”. How in the world could you reach Crowley’s kid?
	Look if we spend all day arguing over minutia nobody’s going to get any screentime.
	Oh oh! I’ll go!
	Not now, Cas. Where we doing this?
	I hear Poughkeepsie is nice this time of year.
	Oh no, you do not get to invoke canon after breaking it.
	Fine, meet me in Cleveland.
	We’ll be there. *hangs up*
	Hey guys, what’s going on?
	Tessa? Why are you here?
	This is where angels hang out I thought.
	What? No! Wrong! Bad reaper! *stabbity stab* *runs off*
	Is your brother alright?
	The Mark of Cain is kind of… making him sensitive to the 4th wall.
	Well if he’s going to be like that see if I ever reap him again.
	Hey, can you at least pretend to be dead so his feelings aren’t hurt?
	Fine. I’m dead. *blarg* and stuff
	–LATER–
	Pardon me, but I believe you have my angel.
	Who are you?
	What? How can you not know? I’m Metatron, the big bad of this season.
	Excuse me? If anyone is the big bad this season it’s me!
	Please I’m God!
	And I’m an even bigger foe of the Winchesters!
	?
	I’m a still living female!
	… Well played. Still, I killed their little buddy.
	You killed Gilligan?
	No I… it was Kevin!
	Who?
	Ugh, look there’s an easy way to solve this.
	–LATER–
	Dean, are we in the right place?
	This was the address they…
	Scene: Metatron and Abaddon stand an equal distance away from the Winchesters
	What’s going on?
	We need you to determine who is the arc villain this season.
	Come on boys, you know you want to stab me…
	I’ve totally been an asshole…
	Oh man. This is the hardest choice I’ve ever had to face!
	Dean, there are two of us. We could just kill them both.
	How? You got an extra first blade there on you?
	I have an angel blade–
	See? You’re useless. I gotta do this alone.
	I killed your grandfather.
	I killed Kevin.
	Hm. Damn this is hard. Why oh why must I bear this burden alone???
	=(
	I’m a female that’s survived nearly a whole season!
	I’m a short fellow that’s done the same.
	They both make a persuasive case.
	I scratched up your car.
	*shock* You did, WHAT?
	DIE BITCH! *stabbity stab*
	Hah! I knew… you hated me… more… blarg *is dead*
	I can’t believe it! You hated her more than me.
	Don’t worry Metatron, I can stab you too.
	Oh you say that now, but you’ll be thinking of her! *vanish*
	He is right. You are a bit of a tease about the whole killing thing.
	Your day is coming…
	Words. Just sweet, empty, meaningless words. *yoink*
	Hey! I think Crowley just took his son from our back seat.
	And?
	He’s been plucked from the past! If we don’t send him back time could get all sorts of screwed up.
	Can I stab time?
	… No.
	Then I don’t care.
	–NEARBY–
	Those are your friends?
	The closest I’ve got to any, unfortunately.
	Are they always so… ornery?
	My boy, when those two aren’t mad, that’s when you know the world is ending.

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