The recent Hollywood trends of reboots and remakings and re-imaginings of the many properties and stories of the past got me to thinking…
Please, come in. Have a seat. Oh don’t mind this, it’s fake. I find that holding cigarettes encourages others to believe me.
You’re here because you think you woke up; that you can see the way things really are. Don’t be silly. Do you know what the most effective lies are? The ones closest to the truth. If I told you there were no bombs in here, you might be suspicious. But if I tell you there are four bombs in here, you’ll think you’re safe after you’ve found them, even though there are actually five.
I’m kidding, there’s no bombs in here, that was just a metaphor. Hopefully you now understand how you’re always lied to: told just enough truth to keep you from being a threat. Yes, I know what you’re thinking before you even say it. The conspiracy theories are true. All of them. Except they’re all wrong too.
Stop. Remember the previous lesson. Those groups and organizations… those are just the proxies, the “four bombs” to keep you from finding the fifth. Look deeper. Look wider.
No not aliens. Time travelers.
Stop. You’re over thinking it again. Don’t lie, I can see it in your eyes. They don’t travel that far back. Why? Like crossing distance in space, the more distance you cross in time, the more energy it takes. Also nobody wants to touch any history poorly recorded; not even to research it for a proper record. If you want to mess with time, you do it very carefully.
Yes, all of them. Yes, the moon landing was faked the first time, until World War 4 became bad enough that travelers had to go back and tweak a few things for it to succeed. Like a calculation here, or an inspiration of chemical engineering there. Trust me, you want the history where Buzz Aldrin is still around to punch you.
Actually… Kennedy isn’t exactly a conspiracy, more like a drunken prank some travelers pulled that’s being cleaned up the best anybody can.
No no. You’re thinking too small. Remember that lies are most effective showing you only a partial truth.
Take global warming.
Yeah, I haven’t heard that joke before. You’ve heard that skeptics of it are corporate stooges. That’s right, but which corporation?
See, you believe “oil companies” and your mind accepts the lie. The real answer you’ll never believe: Disney.
No, not today’s, tomorrow’s. Oh yes they’re still around down the road. See in a few more decades they’ll finally be able to accomplish what they’re trying to do at this moment: create the ultimate family theme park. Now think a moment, what would you need to make the best, most ultimate theme park ever? One word: Dinosaurs.
Of course something went wrong, but never in an entertaining, big-blockbuster way. They’ll all die, because the world’s much colder than they prefer. So you hire a few travelers to help an inventor here, pass an idea there… few decades later and you’ve got a future warm enough to host childhood dreams.
Oh the oil companies were invented from the beginning for this. The technology they create, digging they do, and research they’ll develop all will play great roles in bringing those big guys to life.
Stop worrying. You’ve got fifteen, maybe twenty years at most before the global cold snap. Yes, that will also be the work of travelers. Like all fads dinosaur-mania will pass and then the life from the ice age will be ‘in’. Also we’ll need to bring glaciers down on Canada before their domination plot comes to fruition. If you can excuse the pun, the timing on everything should work out perfectly.
What? Of course the idea sounds silly. The best defense is to be ignored. You laugh at them at your peril.
Well it’s getting late, I should be going home. No, we will not speak together again.
Yes, there are more out there, but I won’t tell you of them.
That isn’t the worst of it, you know. Remember the metaphor? If I told you about that fifth bomb, would you sleep easier after finding it? Or would you always wonder if there was a sixth waiting for you?
You’ll seek answers, and you’ll find them, but you’ll always wonder if there’s more. You could seek out others but how will you know what they are? Are they completely honest or telling you another partial truth? Will you fight the travelers? Let people know about them? Who could believe your words? Some out there will probably say time travel is impossible. You might convince yourself they are travelers, when they’re innocent. Innocent people who had an idea whispered in their ear telling them a half perspective that can only see problems, not the whole vision that sees the solution.
You would probably go mad trying to figure out the ripples from their causes. You’d rant in an effort for somebody – anybody – to hear the whole truth. But nobody listens to a madman, and they’ll dismiss your words as fiction. Even if somebody presented evidence, they’ll all claim it faked because it’s all madness.
One could almost say it was all… a conspiracy.