SW8: the Last Jedi (SPOILER FREE)

The problems with this film can be summed up easily without spoiling.

From the original trilogy:

  • Trash compactor tentacle
  • Wampa
  • Mynocks
  • Space Wurm
  • Rancor
  • Sarlaac

All creatures that threatened our heroes at one point.  In this new film?  4 creatures are seen (I’m not counting the fish Luke kills to eat).  The Porgs, land whales used for milking, giant horse-dogs, and crystal wolves.  NONE of them threaten our heroes in any way, rather they are all friends and allies who want to help – domesticated.

Once upon a time, Star Wars took place in a dangerous galaxy, one where our heroes (and villains) had to contend with threats beyond those of the empire.  Now?  Now the galaxy is safe.  There is no danger to anyone except from evil people.  This isn’t “Star Wars” the adventure, this is “Star Wars” the theme park ride.

For me, the Star wars prequels are in order of their quality (SW1 the worst, SW3 the best).  This movie is equal to Episode 2 (Attack of the Clones).  If you liked that movie, you MIGHT like this one.  If you didn’t enjoy SW2, you won’t like this one.

Ironically as I watch this an old Seinfeld episode is airing on the TV and Jerry’s opening monologue sums up the problem with the movie: “If I want a long boring story with no point, I have my life.”

(Nerd ranting later.)

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4 thoughts on “SW8: the Last Jedi (SPOILER FREE)

  1. I can give a pass to the porgs… apparently, they’re only in the movie because of actual native wildlife (puffins in this case) that couldn’t be cleared from the shooting locations. Their solution was to write them into the movie instead: in essence porgs are Space Puffins.

    This doesn’t excuse making any of them actual characters, though it might make sense if one of them were merely a pet, kind of like the cat in Aliens.

    Of note: I have not seen this movie, nor any of the Abramsized films. I am actually just kind of sick of Star Wars.

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