Episodes Reviewed – 9.21 & 9.22

Well…

On the scale of season 9, these two episodes were a 3 and 1 out of 5 respectively.  On the scale of SPN as a whole, they rank as a 2 for episode 9.21 and a 1/2 for episode 9.22.  To twist the words of Jerry Seinfeld: “That offends me as a fan AND as a writer.”

Everyone get your alcohol ready, this is going to take awhile…

9.21

  • How did Abaddon travel back in time?  Don’t say the spell Henry W. used.  Part of the requirement of that spell was “blood to blood” meaning Henry travelled to where he had blood family (in this case, his grandsons).  So how did Abaddon arrive where she needed to be out of all of time and space without some way to connect the points?  No really, here’s the script from episode 8.12:
    SAM
    I’m just thinking if we can’t kill this Abaddon –
    DEAN
    – maybe we can shove her back where she came from. How did you do it?
    HENRY
    It’s a blood sigil. Blood leads to blood. Or their next of kin.
    SAM
    But Abaddon came through it, also, right? So can you create this blood sigil again?
    HENRY
    My blood, an angel feather, tears of a dragon, a pinch of the sands of time – I – I would need those and… at least a week for my soul to recharge, but, yes, it’s possible.

    Let me remind you that later in the episode we have confirmation that the body Crowley is in now is not the body he originally had, so it’s not like Abaddon could get any blood from it and run to Gavin either.

  • Speaking of which, shouldn’t something have happened when Abaddon arrived in a time when she already was?  The only times we’ve really seen this are when Anna time travelled and (same episode) Dean did too.  But then Anna is angel and being transcendental beings with casual time travel powers it seems like coexisting with themselves wouldn’t be too much of a problem.  And Dean was barely formed as a person so maybe it wouldn’t affect him as much… but Abaddon is still around in that time as a full knight of Hell.  Something doesn’t happen when the same knight of Hell occupies the same plane of time and space twice at once?
  • If she can time travel so easily, why bother with Crowley’s son?  Why not just go to Crowley himself?  Kill him before he makes a deal.  Grab him as a ghost or a fledgling demon and trap him in some kind of salt or iron cage so he can never rise through the ranks of Hell.  Cain’s still on your side at that point in time (unless his woman is 140 years old when she dies) so just have him kill the new guy.
  • You know what might have had made all of it work?  If Abaddon used some kind of spell to send back a simple message to her past self (add some limitations to eliminate the above) and she kidnapped Gavin before the ship went down, put him “on ice” somehow (magic!), faked the death and then let him arrive like a time capsule package in the future.
  • You know what also would have worked?  Abaddon having an angel or two on her side.  Then he/she/it could either resurrect Gavin or use his/her/its time travel abilities.  Crowley had angels on the payroll last season, why not the challenger?
  • Abaddon, the great tactician, never thought about just trading bodies with Crowley?  Or with any other demon just to get an extra edge against Dean?
  • Abaddon, the great Knight, Queen-to-be, who thought to wear a bullet-proof vest next time she faced the Winchesters, didn’t think to bring a GUN when facing down Dean?  Oh wait, she HAD a gun when she shot Crowley.  So… she didn’t hang onto it just in case Dean like… fought against her power?  Or during the HOUR they spent grimacing at each other, she never thought about just pulling out the gun SHE HAD JUST USED and finishing it?  Hooray for villains beating themselves!
  • Yes this episode just completely breaks Weekend at Bobby‘s, but that was a kind of crap episode anyway (surprise! written by Andrew Dabb) so I’m not too upset to see it jettisoned.
  • So Crowley is incapacitated, completely at their mercy, and the boys don’t think to finish curing him or just stabbing him outright with the First Blade?  WHY?  WHY WHY WHY WHY?  Why, when you have the king of Hell COMPLETELY at your mercy, do you let him live?  Guess Dean’s not feeling THAT murderous.
  • You know Crowley & Son would make a better spinoff… “He’s the King of Hell rediscovering his humanity.  He’s a kid stuck in a strange new world and time.  What adventures await them?”
  • Ok I’ll admit I did like seeing Gordon Michael Woolvett again.  I was a big fan of Harper way back when I watched Andromeda regularly and had Firefly continued they would have to get him to play Wash’s brother.  A chance for him to shine bumps this episode’s score up.
  • Speaking of which, why was he killed?  I kept expecting a reveal that it was Dean that did it but a traitor angel?  Why?  I mean the guy was shown to know practically nothing and the death happened AFTER Sam & Dean’s interrogation so the killing served no purpose expect to announce to Cas Inc “Here there be traitors!”  Here’s a hint: typically if you’re a traitor, you don’t want people to know it!  Best way to keep it secret?  Don’t let people know there’s a traitor!

9.22

  • Tessa.  Just… NOTHING about that works.  Nothing.  At all.  If Garth suddenly showed up and revealed that werewolves are actually vampires, it would make just as much sense.  Any efforts made to justify it with headcanon are a waste of time and energy.  Please stop doing the writers’ work for them.
  • What was up with the building Cas & Sam visited?  What if Cas went by himself, got stuck by the riddle, and then just left?
  • Do even the show runners know what Metatron’s plan is?  So he kicks all of the angels out of Heaven to… let them back in?  Why?  Just to be in charge?  Why not just reappear and start passing off written orders as “from God”?  Who’s going to know or contradict you?  Rule by a sort of proxy.  THEN you could have had an actual new theme and thriller this season with Cas attempting to prove to everyone that Metatron is lying or something.
  • Again, how is being in charge of Heaven going to make him God when it didn’t for Michael or Naomi?
  • Why did Dean stop using the angel blade and pull out the First Blade?  If he just likes the latter, why not use the First Blade when interrogating Flagstaff?  If trying to remain undercover, why not keep a hold of the angel blade since they went to so much trouble establishing those can kill “reapers”?
  • “Magic like this comes with a price”?  Like what, the Colt?  Or Ruby’s knife?  Oh wait those didn’t… About the only thing that had any price was Sam’s demon blood drinking and even that, the “price” was the most poorly established storyline in seasons 4 & 5.
  • Why does Metatron care so much if some angels WANT to stay on earth and out of heaven?  SERIOUSLY WHAT IS HIS PLAN?  To make fandom cry? (doing a good job of it so far)
  • FREAKIN’ TESSA!

At least I’ll actually be able to watch the finale tomorrow as it airs, so if you want, follow @simplegarak on twitter to see me have a mental breakdown in real time.

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