MLP:ER – Baby Cakes

(the following post not suitable to the humor impaired)

I love kids, especially with bar-b-que sauce although honey-mustard is also good.

Nah I’m kidding.  As someone who’s close friends have all started having kids lately, I really sympathized with this episode and it’s expose of the double standard in our culture.  Sure babies torturing the babysitter are always “fun” and “humorous” but when the babysitter tortures the kids?  Oh now that’s wrong.

And don’t even get me started on the parents!  They all talk about “wanting their kids to behave” but then complain about you trying to remove the brats’ free will.  They say “we want our kids to be the best” but do they thank you for putting the rugrats through a survival course?  No, it’s my fault their gene collection is so pathetic.  Look, you’re both still fertile just make another one – and this time make it a decent model.  Don’t bother trying to make up for your mistakes either.  They complained about a few techno-biotic enhancements!  Sure little William had trouble telling friend from foe afterwards but he only killed seven.  Since two were hippies and three were lawyers that’s like… a death total of four actual people.  But he could survive the training courses now!

Except it’s not just parents.  The other day, both a mom and a security guard in the mall told the kid he needed to stop running, but I’m the one arrested when I try to knee cap the boy with a tire iron.  Hey, I’m just doing my citizenly duty to enforce society’s rules.  Don’t get me started on the popular “we barely have any money to feed them”!  So?  Just cook enough food for half of them and leave a broken pool cue on the kitchen floor.  Don’t complain about my suggestions if you come to me for help!

The lists!  I’m right there with you Pinkie Pie.  Did you see the number of items on the list the Cake’s left?  Each one better take no more than five minutes per kid if she’s going to get them all done in a twenty-four hour period.  That’s assuming the parents were clear.  Like the other day when I was told, “Shelby wants to see dinosaurs”.  Well how I was supposed to know they meant the museum.  That was within a mile of the house.  And had a dinosaur exhibit that weekend only.  And tickets for it stapled to the list.  Look my time tunneling device is still more reliable than Windows Vista and I made sure we only went to the Cretaceous period where the earth was intersecting with its present position.  Letting velociprators nibble on her ankles was a great learning experience!  Yes she now has an irrational fear of chihuahuas and for that I’m genuinely sorry (no matter how funny it is).  The kid’s almost three years old, you gotta cut the apron strings sometime, ma.

…What was I talking about?

Oh right!  So Pinkie, you got my support, I’m right there with ya.  They call me irresponsible too.  But what do they know?

Objectively it’s average, I’m giving it an extra shell for personal reasons.

Nice to see a work point out that responsibility can have rewards of its own, and anklebiters aren’t all bad.  Still, the foals should be grateful they didn’t get like a stubby set of wings and a malformed horn.  I guess Celestia made it such that pegasi and unicorns always are fully developed no matter how “impure” their blood might be.

Actually what I thought was funny was everyone reacting more to the Cakes having two mixed babies, instead of them having twins.  Which are very rare in horses & ponies.  Much less both surviving (once one of our horses had twins and we lost both of them :().  That would have been a clever, comedic reversal as well as zoological bonus.  Ah well, I guess it doesn’t matter when we have aggressively cute ponies to deal with.

Sleep tight everyone!

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(this post dedicated to Russell & Asahel, their wives and kids – thankfully they’re all good sports)

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One thought on “MLP:ER – Baby Cakes

  1. There’s some extremely elaborate theories out there about how genetics works in Equestria to explain those two kids, by the way. I think it’s easy–just assume magic–but you know how some people are. 🙂

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