Zap Rowsdower Facts

Who is Zap Rowsdower? Why he is the most Canadian superhero.  Read along dear reader, but beware, for he makes the mounties seem like the marines.

the mighty Zap Rowsdower

• Zap Rowsdower does not rent beer.
• Four out of ten sacrifices agree that Zap Rowsdower is the bodyguard of choice.
• Why has Canada never had prohibition?  Rowsdower.
• Zap Rowsdower has discovered the cure for cancer, AIDS, male pattern baldness and every other disease.  Unfortunately no normal human can withstand that much alcohol.
• Paul Bunyan has a blue ox.  Zap has a blue pickup.  Coincidence?
• Rowsdower can summon any tool to hand.  As long as it’s a grappling hook.
• Because of Zap, Canada’s drunk driving policies are graded on a curve.
• Canada’s national defense plan is only 2 words: Zap Rowsdower.
• Like Jesus, Rowsdower can turn any liquid into wine.  Unlike Jesus, Rowsdower does it involutnary.
• Rowsdower is the patron saint of Irish and Scottish sterotypes.
• Zap onced burped and caused Global Warming.
• Rowsdower can put out a fire on a Troy’s head over 50% of the time.

P.S. We here at the institute for Rowsdower Objective Truths (iROT), are constantly searching for more information on the legendary Zap.  If you come across any other facts, post them in the comments.  If the crack research team confirms it, the fact will be officially recognized.