Star Wars – the first prequel

Star Wars1

I know what some of you are thinking: why?

Because.  I’ve criticized the prequels once before.  As they say, ‘it’s easy to criticize, think you can do better?’  Yes, I think I can.

I’ve also been watching the original trilogy lately, and they were just so damn good – they deserved much better.  Plus I was inspired by Mr Plinkett’s very excellent critiques, even though he still missed some things…

Some will notice that the script isn’t quite up to 60 pages (around a full hour movie time).  I hyperlinked a lot of things to save space on description, and to show that I’m a fair chap, I wanted to leave some room for George Lucas to do his scenery and action porn.

Some notes on my method:

  • The original three were most important first and foremost.  Nothing was put in that would contradict or open up plot holes from those original 3.
  • Almost as important: showing more things than telling the audience about them.
  • After that, the existing prequels were used as a template.  ex: Anakin still grows up and is found on Tatooine.
  • I tried not to violate too much of the EU canon (I especially love the original Clone Wars cartoons) and wrote with the goal such that the least amount would have to be thrown out or changed – except when this conflicted with the first point.
  • I do love some of the prequel actors (Natalie Portman & Ewan McGregor can be especially skilled) and so wrote the parts not only with them in mind, but with plenty of room for the actors to flex their chops and add character and depth to the roles.

All in all, I hope this effort soothes your memories of the original tragedy as it did for me while writing it.

(much thanks to Asahel and Jaina for helping me edit this)

UPDATE: I neglected to mention that Confused Matthew‘s reviews also inspired me in writing this.  Much thanks to him as well as Plinkett.

10 thoughts on “Star Wars – the first prequel

  1. /slowclap

    1 quick note, while its still in my mind. At the very end, Obi-wan asks Anakin why he calls him master. So, shouldn’t he maybe call Obi-wan ‘master’ instead of ‘Ben’ in the previous line?

    1 more thing:
    “Don‟t see it coming when it‟s not aimed at you, huh?”

    I call shenanigans. I don’t care if that’s something from the EU, that’s just silly.

  2. Very, very nice, Nate. Having never seen the first movie (although I do have an idea of the plot from Darths & Droids and various complaints), I have to say that I really, REALLY liked your version of it. Sure, it does need to be a bit longer (more time on Coruscant, maybe? Or more time with the Jedi?), but still, great job!

    On the “don’t see it coming when it’s not aimed at you” bit, sure, it’s a little out there, but I think it works well enough.

    • Man, I envy you. I must do something to correct this…

      What’s your address? I’m sending you a copy of the SW1 rifftrax!

      As for the last statement, it’s kind of a way to limit the Jedi’s power. Otherwise you have Mary Sues way too powerful to ever be realistically wiped out. Which was another flaw in the prequels. At some point you had to start wondering, “Why didn’t the Jedis see this coming at all? The dark side you say? You don’t need the Force, just common sense would tell you what’s happening!”

      Thus why in the scripts, I kind of wanted 1) to give a better explanation on why the galaxy splitting is so bad and 2) to set the Jedis up in a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. I mean, it’s a prequel – we already know they’ll lose in the end, but that’s no excuse to get lazy and write them as doing everything they can not to win (Yes, George, I’m talking to you!).

      • I get that it’s a way to limit their power, I just don’t buy it. It seems to me that if they can sense someone attacking them, it shouldn’t matter what area of their body is being aimed at, even if it wouldn’t physically harm them.

        In principle, I agree. Making the Jedi too powerful is part of what makes their failure in the prequels so disappointing.

  3. Nicely done, Nate!
    I really liked it.

    Now, here be spoilers for those who haven’t read it yet…

    I was a bit disappointed to not see Han’s grandpa (like you inserted him in your other “reimagining”) but Wedge’s dad’s cameo made that okay. Also – well done on the subverting of many expectations – specifically separating Anakin and R2.

    Speaking of the young Vader; you said Hayden Uselesson should still play him? I say no, give the part to Jake Abel (known to us SPN-geeks as Adam and New!Michael). Not only does he look young enough, he’s also a great actor (and there’s a small resemblance to Mark Hamill too, don’t you think?).

    Other than that; your Maul was even scarier than the real one. And the chemistry between Anakin and Padme (white bodysuit = continuity nod FTW) was not only cute, but very realistic. In this version, it’s easy to see him as an overall good kid with a hidden dark side (choking Sebulba FTW) rather than an 11-year-old child actor having tons of fun on a high-budget film set. Also, I love how you “decorated” Anakin’s pad; that’s how slave quarters are *supposed* to look, dammit!

    So yeah – it was awesome.
    The Force of good writing is strong with you. :-D

    • Are you sure you didn’t see Han’s ancestor?

      Jake Abel would be a pretty good Anakin. Though almost none of the acting flaws can be put on the actors’ shoulders in the prequels, strictly the director’s.

      As for the rest, I’m guessing you’re sucking up to get an episode 2?

  4. Pretty sure – I even went back to check. However, your sly question leads me to believe that he/she is actually there; I just don’t know who he/she *is*.

    Glad you agree on Jake Abel. Guy’s really talented, he shouldn’t be wasting his time on turds like I Am Number Four (or Percy Jackson and the Horrible Movie Adaptation, for that matter).

    Yeah, true – lucas really screwed up on the prequels (common knowledge, but still). Which is why TPM sucked, even though Hayden wasn’t in that one.

    Hahahaha – to me, AotC was always the worst of the worst. So yeah, I *do* want to see what you do with it.

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